How to make friends
Dear Addie,
I’m struggling to figure out how to put myself out there and make new friends. Do you have any advice on how I can accomplish this?
—Craving Companions
Dear Craving Companions,
I am sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time making friends.
When I was having a rough time with that myself, I found that my problem was rooted in not opening up and being myself and, in some ways, I didn’t even really know who I was in the first place. It’s easy to get caught up trying to be the person you think others want you to be in order to get people to like you, but that leads to feeling stuck and never forming long-lasting friendships that offer a true connection.
It takes a lot of courage, but I recommend you put aside any concern with impressing people, and let your truest self show. For me, that meant being openly goofy in class, talking more about things that matter to me and sharing my worldview, even if people might judge it.
I understand that learning to be your authentic self openly is a lot easier said than done. It can be a long and scary process, but I truly believe it’s the only way to meet friends. Whatever part of yourself you’re holding back, let it out. Talking about your worldview, your interests and your thoughts leads to finding people who have things in common with you.
Also, don’t be afraid to hang out with someone even if you think they might not connect with you on everything. A good friend doesn’t need to match you in every opinion. Sometimes they just have to align with you on one or two key points to end up being a valuable friend.
Good luck! I hope you figure out what works best for you and find people you enjoy spending time with.
– Addie
Introducing to the Voice our new advice column from contributing writer Adeline Griffith: Get it Off Your Chest. Whether you need some advice about a sticky situation, want an objective second opinion or are just looking to vent, we’re here to help.
Use your WCC email address and look for a response in the next issue. We’ll use tried-and-trued signature pseudonyms when we publish (“Steamed in Saline,” for example) but we want to be sure we’re hearing from members of the WCC community.
Just send your questions to getitoffyourchestwithaddie@gmail.com.
