Living with parents offers time to reconnect, grow

Ian Loomis | Washtenaw Voice

By Claire Convis
Staff Writer

According to Forbes, millenials are living with their parents longer than their Baby Boomer and Gen X predecessors. For college students living at home, this can be an ideal time to save up money, help around the house and learn how to get along with family members.

“It’s nice to have that support at home, especially with school, because that can be stressful,” said Elisabeth Gudzinski, a 21-year-old WCC student studying radiography.

“My parents and I are really close,” Gudzinski said. She said her family connects by planning family outings, going out to dinner and playing board games.

Social support is a crucial piece in the puzzle of college life; it’s important for students to know that they can get a ride if their car breaks down, or that someone can pick up Tylenol and Kleenex from the store.

“It’s really nice just having your family to come home to every day,” said Rebecca Privatte, a 21-year-old nursing student. “You know they’re always going to be there, and they care for you.”

Privatte lives in Willis with her parents and younger brother. Growing up with four siblings at home, Privatte says that they all got along most of the time, and that she has close relationships with all of her family members. “I get home and my mom asks me about my day, and it’s just nice to unwind and talk to her about that.”

“I think family life is really important, and I think it helps with a lot of different areas of life,” Privatte said. “I know that if I moved out I would still see them. I have good relationships with them, but it just wouldn’t be the same as seeing them pretty much every day.”

Privatte enjoys living at home, although getting married, graduating college or a new job would all be motivators for her to find a place of her own.

“One of my friends asked me to move out with her… so I have been thinking about it,” said Privatte. “I do kind of want to move out because I want to start my own life and I want to have freedom … and that sense of independence.”

Privatte mentioned that she has a desire to move to Ann Arbor because it is the center of the hub of activity in her life, from school and work to her social activities.

Taking time to connect with her family members is important to Privatte.

“There’s a lot of hanging out at home together,” Privatte said. “My dad is really into family time.. We play a lot of games together, we watch movies together, we’ll go putt-putting.”

“My grandparents own a lakehouse so we went up there two weekends ago and we all hung out together,” said Privatte. “We take family vacations pretty much every year; we’ve gone to Florida a lot.”

Privatte said well-meaning parents often come across as overly protective or strict, but most parents just want what’s best for their kids. There is an interesting dynamic that comes with being a college student living at home, because it is a period of discovering oneself, critical thinking and forming a worldview, and many students’ beliefs will not align with their parents’.

“They just want the best for me,” said Privatte. “It’s an interesting stage of life because… I’m an adult and I need to be making my own decisions, but at the same time they still want to guide me, and I still want their guidance, but it’s hard because I don’t always agree with [them].”

Maybe you’re butting heads because of a curfew, outfit choice, political belief, personal boundary or a chore schedule, but whatever the case, keep a cool head and the other person will be more likely to listen to what you have to say.

“I like to avoid conflict,” said Privatte. “I’m just trying to figure out where I stand with everything, and how much I should heed [my parents’] advice.”

“I have to figure out what I believe for myself,” she added.

Gudzinski said she has plenty of independence living with her family, even though there might sometimes be a difference of opinion.

“[Parents] can get on our case sometimes, but it’s all out of a loving place,” said Gudzinski. “There’s a reason why they do what they do.”

“I don’t really get annoyed with my family that much because I love them a lot … but family life can be a little difficult sometimes,” said Privatte.

It can become a habit to take your family for granted, Privatte said, but it’s important to appreciate those around you while they are still in your life. Something as simple as cooking dinner for your grandparents or taking your little sibling to the movies could be a fun way to enjoy still living at home.

“You’re not promised tomorrow with anybody,” said Privatte. “I think it’s really important to focus on the things that you appreciate about people.”

“Try to put the other things that really drive you crazy or make you upset in the back of your head and just focus on the positive things,” she said.

“Friends come and go, but your family is always there,” Gudzinski said.